paranoianovel Chapter 428 Seeing present, facing the past (double chapter)
Chapter 428 Seeing present, facing the past (double chapter)
"..."
isera sat down on her knees and watched how her world crumbled in the reflection of reality within the inner picture of her pendant.
she saw banjay go from one bed to the other, exchanging a few words with his soldiers in a desperate attempt to somehow raise their morale.
the worst part about it was that she knew when exactly commanders would resort to this method.
the only time when they could bother trying to raise the morale of those already heavily injured, was when even they had to go back to fight in the last ditch effort.
soon enough, banjay walked out of the infirmary and moved back to where the history was being written with the blood of those who fought to decide its course.
the first embankment of the fortress fell, allowing the imperials full access to the first, main wall.
a reasonable obstacle, as opposed to both the second wall and then the monolith of the third.
in theory, if the patriarchate would collapse the tunnels of the third wall, no one could ever pass through this work of gods again...
but, any sort of blockade could be broken through, even if banjay worked tirelessly to construct it. anything short of collapsing the main structure simply wouldn't do. stay updated with empire
and to put it simply, there existed no force capable of actively damaging the god's work, the third and the main wall. only the fortifications added by a human hand would be undone the same way.
still...
the first wall was gone.
despite how small the size of her pendant's picture was, she could see everything in perfect detail, as if her point of view was floating several steps above jay, while somehow peering through whatever obstacles were in his way.
isera could see jay talking with some soldiers on the second wall as he overlooked the battle taking place at the first wall.
'just how did he end up defending lunagar's pass?'
the last time she saw the man, they parted in anger.
in a prideful attempt to rid jay of the punishment for his betrayal, isera decided to commit herself to this suicidal mission.
'i went so far to get him out of trouble, and he still found his way to it?'
the girl had nothing but her guesses.
the show within her pendant was limited to just images, not the voice or any other context of what was happening.
'did he take over the patriarchate already?' isera thought, her thoughts darkening while a perverse sense of pride sparked up in her mind. 'knowing him...' isera looked back into her pendant, fully entrapped within its allure. 'yeah, he would be able to do just that...'
despite being born with a silver if not golden spoon in his mouth, jay never exhibited any interest in the kinks and plays of the noble world. strangely enough, though, he didn't seem to have any interest in the war or military, opting to spend his time with books in the comfortable shade below his chambers' window.
that was jay that isera knew. but it's been over twelve years since she last met that version of jay.
despite... no, because of jay's noble lineage, his family ended up relocating to the empire for some time to serve in a diplomatic mission, back where there were still hopes that peace could be maintained.
by the time the relationship grew so sour jay's family hurriedly returned... he was a different man.
back then, isera expected jay to be broken by the last few unpleasant months he spent abroad.
entranced in both the visual image of her old friend and the thoughts that suddenly spun in her head, isera nearly failed to breathe.
somehow, she could tell she was nearing some sort of a major discovery. she could feel it in her guts.
'if it wasn't the patriarch, then...'
a face appeared before the girl's eyes.
back then, when she still thought it was the patriarch himself who was somehow displeased with jay, isera found herself with no options. and so, she decided to go on a trip to plead with banjay to stop this madness before the patriarch's next order would have his name.
a trip that ended up with her and jay clashing hard, and parting ways in great anger.
a meeting that isera concluded at the queen's chambers, begging for her to use her remaining authority to influence her son to spare jay from his fate. to put a stop to whatever made the patriarch despite her friend.
a wish the queen-mother readily granted, showing great kindness and understanding of her cause and situation.
there was just this one little thing that the queen needed isera to do, a favor she would never ask for how dangerous it was. a favor that would allow her to show jay just how hard she was trying for his sake, throwing all of the anger-fueled words they exchanged before parting back in his ungrateful, arrogant, and spiteful face.
'that damned bitch...'
for some reason, it took isera five years to go back with her thoughts to that moment and make the realization that, in hindsight, couldn't be any more obvious.
the face that appeared before her eyes was exactly of that kind, an older lady, who overlooked the palace and all those who worked around it to entertain herself in the sunset of her life.
isera looked down at what used to be a picture of her and banjay, long before all the shit went down. long before banjay changed into this distant, unfamiliar version of himself. long before he decided he was better off without the patriarch and those who slaughtered his family, siding with the nobles that have long since expressed their discontent with the capital.
right now, she could only see battle and banjay bravely commanding his troops... which amounted to nothing but throwing fire at a blaze that advanced at every possible front.
she could see how he changed, how the unpleasant smile that somehow made all the noble girls swoon over him back in the courts had now disappeared, replaced with just grim determination and a stalwart look in his eyes...
and yet, she couldn't help but regret the vanishing of the picture.
for as great as it was to see banjay alive even if not really well... on the top of the walls, in the middle of an ongoing slaughter, he was all alone.
there was no isera smiling and laughing to his side while the two took the commemorative photo.
'i really shouldn't have opened it up,' the girl thought, clenching the pendant in her hands, unable to bear looking into it any longer.
as great as it was to look at her friend still alive and kicking, just the thought that a random, stray arrow could pierce his vital point at any time and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it...
'in the end, i was the one who gave up on him and left on my own...'
the girl faced the truth behind her own motivations from five years ago.
in the heat of the moment, raising in her pride and thought that she was destined to be the one to help jay if not outright save him, despite all the painfully accurate words he threw at her... isera decided that casting herself out, assuming the role of misunderstood and self-sacrificing heroine would force jay to see the truth.
and now that this pendant, by showing her the present, forced isera to face her past, she had no other choice but to face the truth.
'it wasn't he who abandoned me.'
the world around the girl started to swirl, as if powerful currents suddenly shot out of her core and surged out, past the barrier of her soul, past the barrier of her flesh, and straight into the dull bottom of this spaceless trap that was deprived of even the tiniest bit of free mana.
'i was the one who abandoned him all along.'