paranoianovel Chapter 19: Meditation At The Tomb
Chapter 19: Meditation At The Tomb
Su Lin saw Cong Bingqing standing in front of a wooden sign. He stepped forward to take a look and found the words "Fang Zongyu's Tomb" written on the wooden sign.
"You made it?" Su Lin asked.
Cong Bingqing shook his head: "It was established by the female disciple of the Ant Fairy Sect. They have known each other for a long time."
Su Lin didn't expect to reunite with Cong Bingqing so soon, but what is she doing here?
"We are sending those children home, why are you here?" Su Lin asked.
"I want to see my heart." Cong Bingqing said expressionlessly, "I took Fang Zongyu away here, and Fang Zongyu's parents were actually killed indirectly by Ziguang Zhenren and me. I was actually the murderer, but at that time I was controlled by the Ant Immortal Art, so I want to see how I feel when I come back here now."
Su Lin understands that many people will behave like this when they are confused about their original aspirations.
Just like a person who once aspired to be an astronaut when he was a child, he became an ordinary office worker when he grew up, sometimes deliberately watching documentaries about the universe.
They don't want to see the vast universe, they just want to examine their own hearts to see if they have really become office workers without ambitions, or if they have to give up their childhood dreams because of the pressure of life.
Su Lin also had this kind of time before crossing. The increasingly indifferent society made him lose the idea of being brave, but he often made an assumption to himself. If there were no blackmail and false accusations in the world, would he still be brave? ?
When the examining heart gave the answer he wanted, he was satisfied.
"Do you feel anything?"
"No, I don't have any feelings. I wonder if it's because no one remembers Fang Zongyu's family. The reason why I don't feel anything may be because they didn't leave a trace. I can't imagine what I did and what kind of harm it caused. Consequences." Cong Bingqing remained expressionless. Biqu library
Now she looks like a philosopher.
"If it was me before cultivating immortality, I would definitely feel very guilty."
"You said before that if you meet again, you will tell me why you want to keep your sanity so much, and now you can keep your promise," Su Lin said.
Cong Bingqing looked at Fang Zongyu's tombstone, took a quick look at Su Lin, and said with a smile: "This is really fast, but there is no reason for it. When I first started cultivating immortality, I had a younger sister and a younger brother, both of whom were born. It was an old man who took us.
What happened in the middle is actually very simple. Everyone was doing well. After practicing, the master went crazy. My brothers and sisters and I lived a very painful life, and then killed the master together.
. We were lucky that time, and everyone only suffered minor injuries.
Then, we originally wanted to go home, but in the end we decided to continue practicing with the secret books of exercises left by Master. As we practiced, my brother went crazy. I can't do it.
I locked him in the cave, brought him food on time, and studied the secrets by myself, trying to find out the correct cultivation method so as to help correct his distorted mind... Of course I failed.
Then, my sister went crazy too, so I locked her up as well. "
"That's it, I practice every day, I practice every day, I deliver food every day, and my younger brothers and sisters are also very good, and they don't make noise, but they are crazy, and they are talking nonsense. If you continue to practice, you must cut them off." I fell off some places on my body, but it wasn't written in the book.
About ten years. After ten years, I took care of them by myself and studied those secrets repeatedly every day. Gradually, I felt that maybe my sanity was wrong. After all, my brother and sister said they would cut off those places. Only by opening some meridians of the body can one break through the realm.
I thought maybe it was because they practiced on the right path that they had the same feeling, and I was the one who was wrong. "
"Except for saying things like self-harm, they are very normal, they often persuade me and comfort me.
The younger brother told me that it was actually me who was wrong, as long as I let them go, they would be able to prove it to me.
The little girl told me that I locked them up for ten years, but they didn't blame me at all. They said that as long as they cultivated and grew up, these ten years were nothing, but I had to let them go so that they could break through the bottleneck. "
"Then I let them go. I watched them use knives to cut a series of cuts on their bodies. I wanted to stop them, but the younger brother said that they had already started and they must not stop. Then I saw him slashing and slashing. He cut himself into a blood man.
The result of course is that he almost died, and I hung him with a few herbs, and I didn't know what to do next. "
Cong Bingqing paused and took a deep breath, as if trying to calm down.
"I originally thought that my younger brother and my younger sister were both wrong, but my younger sister checked the injury on my younger brother's back and said that when he cut the flesh on his back, the knife was crooked, that's why it didn't work, and she asked me to help her with the knife.
I didn't want to agree, but she said that as long as she succeeds, she can find a way to save the younger brother.
I didn't know what to think at the time, but I actually agreed. I still remember that I cut a total of three hundred and sixty-seven cuts on her back, each of which was cut very precisely according to her instructions.
At that time, I was determined to succeed,
So I didn't feel anything when I was under the knife, but my little sister also failed. They both lay dying on the bed. I hanged them for half a year, and then they all died. "
Cong Bingqing smiled bitterly, turned to look at Su Lin: "Guess how I felt at that time?"
"It must be very sad." Su Lin expressed his understanding, he knew what it was like to lose his sister.
"Sad? No, I think I'm very pitiful. How ridiculous they are, they even take the imaginary hallucinations as real. I'm even more pitiful, and I repeatedly give them unrealistic hopes... The truth is too sad." Cong Bingqing Shake your head.
Su Lin looked at the other party in surprise, he didn't expect the other party to give such an answer.
Cong Bingqing suddenly chuckled and raised his head again: "So I don't want to be like my younger brother and younger sister. If I also become that kind of person, how pitiful the people who know me will be. Obviously the real me is dead. They still treat me who has gone crazy with tolerance... Just thinking about it makes me unbearable."
After she finished speaking, she looked sideways at Su Lin, and said seriously: "If one day, I appear in front of you in a crazy way, then laugh at me loudly. I only deserve to be laughed at by you."
"Maybe I don't have such boring interests."
After Su Lin finished speaking, he was silent for a long time, and suddenly remembered Fang Zongyu's diary, so he told Fang Zongyu's last few diary entries to the other party.
"I think, after he got mad, he might really like you. How do you feel now?" Su Lin is very curious about Cong Bingqing's next answer.
Cong Bingqing stared at Su Lin, blinked, and shook his head expressionlessly: "I don't have any feelings for that child, he didn't know me at all, and I never knew him.
Although we have lived together for decades, in fact, he and I are strangers from beginning to end, strangers who have never even met face to face. "
Su Lin didn't know how to respond to these words.
He suddenly felt that Fang Zongyu was very pitiful. He was thinking of the senior sister he loved, and he had no feelings for him from the beginning to the end, and even lightly denied every little bit of those decades.
The next day, it rained heavily.
Cong Bingqing left without knowing when.
Su Lin came to Fang Zongyu's grave alone with Fang Zongyu's diary and rattle, and placed the rattle and the stack of diaries in front of the wooden sign.
Su Lin looked at the rain-soaked handwriting, and thought that maybe Cong Bingqing was right, all of this was just a illusory person loving another illusory person, and another illusory person taking care of the illusory him.
They never really met, so it doesn't really start.